EVERYTHING IS LIES. EVERYTHING. IS. LIES.
September 18, 2014 at 9:00 pm
That description means good things
September 18, 2014 at 9:04 pm
I thought that was just Woolie’s motto.
September 18, 2014 at 9:08 pm
Everything is lies. Everything is pies. Something something short-haired girls.
September 19, 2014 at 1:03 am
You guys might wanna take a look at the Red Iron Twinblade; it’s a strength-scaling twinblade that is also one of the best strength weapons in the game. It’s damage was buffed in the last patch along with the durability buff that all twinblades received.
September 25, 2014 at 11:16 am
Dark souls: it doesn’t say it’s easy on the box. Never. Ever.
September 18, 2014 at 9:01 pm
Time for some Dark Souls 2 Cake.
September 18, 2014 at 9:10 pm
Hahah the title is so encapsulating
September 18, 2014 at 9:24 pm
This entire lp woolie has been alternating from being overly ballsy and being the biggest baby in existance. How is that even possible.
September 18, 2014 at 9:33 pm
What a big little ballsy babby.
September 18, 2014 at 10:11 pm
He’s ballsy when he should be, but he turns into a huge baby when walking into completely empty and harmless rooms. I wouldn’t have Woolie’s patience to not punch Pat in the face, and I wouldn’t have Pat’s patience to not scream “THE ROOM IS SAFE” every time Woolie walks into an area one step at a time with his greatshied up.
So kuddos to them for restraint, I guess.
September 19, 2014 at 2:06 am
The moments where he is being ballsy as pat puts it, are actually just moments where he is oblivious to his surroundings.
September 19, 2014 at 6:25 pm
That is the maddening dissonance of Dark Souls. You will endlessly oscillate from ballsy cool guy to pantpissing poobaby.
Woolie is making me annoyed with his scrubby pathfinding
September 18, 2014 at 9:37 pm
ahhaha ya, being way too careful near the second fog door in amana. Balls need to be had!
woolie, guard break is a timing thing and when you get it down, is very useful in pvp. especially with your greatsword as it will mostly one hit kill things.
September 18, 2014 at 9:39 pm
I can’t believe you cut before the Demon of Song, you cockteasing assholes.
September 18, 2014 at 9:41 pm
pat she didn’t have a staff because she is a healer
September 18, 2014 at 9:49 pm
There are moments when I can see Woolie about to kill himself and I just think “No no no no!”. I know seeing that stuff is easier when you’re not the one playing, but still, it can be frustrating.
September 18, 2014 at 9:51 pm
Crack the whip Pat! You’re getting good Woolie 3:)
September 18, 2014 at 10:02 pm
23:55 Dat hitbox.
September 20, 2014 at 10:02 pm
That would be lag.
September 18, 2014 at 10:04 pm
Yes. Great transition. Can’t wait for woolie to fight the simplest boss ever.
September 18, 2014 at 10:10 pm
this one was hard to watch and it was WAY Fucking harder to run to that door prior to patches
September 18, 2014 at 10:37 pm
When your dancing around each other of course you hit them fucking spell caster mentality of pussyfooting all the time is driving me nuts
Pat you have the patience of a saint
Saint Patrick the obviously Irish saint of drop your fucking shield… and potatoes
September 18, 2014 at 10:41 pm
I don’t give a fuck about how wrong whatever there might be with what Pat says or how they play, but MAN did I lose my shit when Woolie tried to run.
You’re a BIG ASS DUDE WITH A BIG ASS SHIELD AND A BIG ASS SWORD, I haven’t played the game and will probably never even touch it but you gotta face the fuckers with those odds.
September 19, 2014 at 2:41 am
He should have just swung
September 18, 2014 at 10:44 pm
Is “that being said” the new “know what I mean”?
September 19, 2014 at 2:52 am
We probably shouldn’t push it to the point where Pat becomes afraid of saying anything. It wouldn’t make for very entertaining videos.
September 18, 2014 at 10:48 pm
omg woolie, turn the fuck around.
September 18, 2014 at 10:53 pm
actually, Pat, the whole shitty animation framerate at long distances is an optimization with an obvious trade-off in visual quality, but the idea is that actors that are a certain distance from you don’t have their skeletal information updated as frequently so to avoid unnecessary processing since you’re not supposed to notice that much of a difference from far away. ~
what the developers forgot is that you can zoom, but since you’re still watching from the same spot, the distance remains the same, thus giving it this freaky animation phenomenon.
this also happened a lot in your Deadly Premonition playthrough (you guys called it “8-bit running”, when there was a sequence where Emily was running towards you)
the more you know 😀
September 18, 2014 at 11:42 pm
September 19, 2014 at 12:39 am
Woolie just had his first Matt directional moment trying to find that house
September 19, 2014 at 12:45 am
Woolie is bad with directions haha
September 19, 2014 at 4:35 am
The lady with the two arch-drakes does NOTHING but heal the two arch drakes and herself. That’s why it’s important to get them away from her and her AoE heal.
September 19, 2014 at 7:11 am
If you hollow in the game, you hollow in real life.
September 19, 2014 at 7:19 am
we need gunjumper Liam in on this.
September 19, 2014 at 9:59 am
1:55 Come on, punch it!
September 19, 2014 at 1:52 pm
This is the most disgusting episode yet. This is the part where even though you’re over half way through your sensei would hit you over the head and say worthless, start over and this time with a tiny stick or leaf instead of a sword. You do not deserve that +10 greatsword. You have dishonored your entire clan.
September 19, 2014 at 7:26 pm
The entire area is a cover shooter, Pat. It’s design specifically to do EXACTLY what Woolie did. I fun a 50/50/25/25 build, and I pick every Shrine Maiden with my Bow of Want (originally the Composite Bow).
This game is easily cheesed with ranged power.
And before you or someone says “Why don’t you just not use ranged weapons?”, no, I will not. I shouldn’t have to make my Souls game harder for me. IT should bring the difficulty TO ME.
And that final group of Archdrake Pilgrims still all aggro on me. NG++, and they fuck my shit all the way.
The acid-mist bug-dudes can still hurt you. They have a jumping attack. And yes Pat, it’s clearly referring to Rhoy the Explorer. The very same Rhoy the Explorer who invades you in the Grave of Saints.
The hitboxes in this game are abysmal. Those fucking pillars literally have boxing around that come 20-30 centimeters off of the actual face. Look at that amazing one when you were clearly not in that PC invader’s killing blow. AH-mazing…
Oh, and that’s not a bug, Pat. That’s just NPC Black Phantom programming. They have HUUUUGE animation cancelling, bullshit poise, and overall stupid amount of health and damage.
Lastly, my advice for PvP: roll. Abuse the fuck out of your Apple iFrames (I hope you’re at 20 ADP). Maybe not in the Shrine, but my main’s parked at the PvP Bridge, and rolls are my go-to thing to bait out attacks. Right now, I’m run Espada Ropera/Majestic Greatsword right now, and my usual tactic is baiting out openings with rolls and backsteps, and then punish when they leave themselves open, or on their rolls.
September 20, 2014 at 10:00 pm
I think the range hitbox stuff is intentional though. It was the same in DkS 1, I think it’s designed to make sure you can’t just snipe in full safety.
September 19, 2014 at 7:32 pm
This video is a lie! But this cake sure is delicious!
September 19, 2014 at 10:41 pm
Guys, I’m pretty sure keeping your shield up in the water doesn’t effect your speed. You’re already slowed down by the water. That creates the illusion that raising your shield makes you slower. I haven’t played since the last DLC came out, granted, but I’m pretty sure.
So Woolie, you pretty much need to be playing the game with the L1/Left Bumper button held down the whole time. Or pulled down, if you prefer.
Also, Woolie, I say this not as a gamer, but as a human being. Please calm down. I know how stressful this game can be, and you’re doing it while being constantly criticized. You just did the worst area of the game, and you just got invaded and killed. That’s never fun.
Pat, Woolie doesn’t want to hear “hit him” as advice for what happened during that invasion. Whenever he swung just one time, he got backstabbed. Let’s step back and think about this. The problem isn’t that he swung. it was WHEN he swung. Did you see what the other guy was doing? He was circle-strafing around you, treating you like a large humanoid enemy. As long as he did that, no attack would hit him, and you would be open to backstabs.
The key here is to know what area you control with your weapon and capitalize on that. In the case of the greatsword, you need to swing when the enemy is further away. If they get as close as the invader you fought did, you need to bait attacks with backsteps and rolls, and try to counter. Or, you could try to use the guard break. You can also try to control your swing and hit him as he moves by altering the angle of your swing. Do this by holding the direction you want to attack in when you press the attack button. This requires that you anticipate your enemy, however. Not always easy. Consider actually turning your lock-on off when fighting an invader for this; it may make controlling your swing feel more natural, and not leave you as open to being hit in the back. The lesson learned here was that you are very open to circle-strafing with this build, so be aware of that.
And lastly, don’t get discouraged! You don’t PVP all the time, so these are lessons that only come this way, by dying. You’re doing fine!
September 20, 2014 at 12:06 am
Woolie is going to need actual human effigies after he finishes this game or he will end up as Woolsworth
i wonder if someone on tumblr already added the Jakety Sax to this episode
September 20, 2014 at 9:59 pm
Don’t listen to Pat for PvP, Woolie! If you’re dancing with someone, you can press the dodge button in your start-up frames to cancel your attack, which will likely provoke a roll to your left or right, which you can then capitalise on.
Also, if you both have shields up for a while, lower yours to bait an attack. If he closes in with his shield up, guard break his shield into riposte. Alternatively, your greatsword will do a lot of stamina damage to anything but a greatshield. Apply pressure until their guard breaks and then riposte or wait for them to dodge.
If he goes in for an attack, launch a pre-emptive attack or setup parry.
September 20, 2014 at 10:37 pm
That invader was fucking awful. You know how to guardbreak, Cuaroc? I’ll would’ve whiped the floor with that dark buffing tryhard. Nacked.
Also Woolie, get rekt. One guardbreak probably would’ve killed this bitch, with your sword.
September 21, 2014 at 12:37 am
You know, I forgot to ask something:
Was the NPC summon really gone forever? I was pretty sure she would show up again if you were willing to pop an effigy.
November 13, 2014 at 10:24 pm
It totally would come back, it’s happened for me. But they’re being stingy with effigies at the strangest times.
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